My 18 year old daughter just told us she is transgender? I'm confused... - JFCS of Greater Philadelphia

Dear Ally,

My 18 year old daughter just told us she is transgender? I'm confused, I'm scared for her safety uggg!!!


Dear Cindy,

I’m so glad you reached out. I understand the importance of putting the safety of your child first. I want to commend your child for the courage it takes to come out. It can be really scary not knowing how your loved ones will respond. With that being said, it can also be a process for parents. You mentioned feeling confused and scared for your child’s safety. While many transgender people have positive experiences coming out and with their transition process, there are many others who do not. Transgender youth and young adults are at high risk for attempting suicide because of the ways they are sometimes treated by society. It’s important for people who are transgender to feel accepted and affirmed as the gender they identify as. This includes being referred to using their chosen name and pronouns. Again, it’s a process, but this will help your child know that you love them unconditionally and accept them for exactly who they are. With all of the changes happening, it could be beneficial to talk to other parents who have transgender children. PFLAG at and Tran Youth Family Allies at are great resources. Please know that the most important thing you or anyone else can do is to validate and accept your child’s identity. Even if you don’t understand it, show that you want to learn and understand and no matter what you are always there to talk to.


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